The Broccoli Strategy

I always wanted to be part of a tiny revolution. However, be it the time of history (everybody busy getting back on the tracks of their school, job, patriotic spirit, religious being etc.), be it the fact that my revolutionary side is not too accentuated, I haven’t got around creating radical change in the world just yet. Making a move forward that made people stop and think ‘whoa, what just happened there’ in half wonder, half panic.

And then it happened. I was lingering around with my shopping bag and Ed, who was holding the odd item out that did not fit in the bag in his right hand: a broccoli. (Actually, one broccolo, you guys.) We were walking in the middle of the little road that goes up to our house, when the classic black SUV (those things are blessed and furious, aren’t they) started racing towards us –  against whom, we don’t know. Fact is, we were in the middle of the road and the SUV was most certainly not stopping. And this is how we were going to die.

With the exception that, a few seconds before the impact, Ed held firmly his to broccolo and raised it straight against the Black Death, which stopped its advance with a harsh scraping. We passed by its side, the broccolo still raised in the air, looking at the shocked car driver and his head, which kept following us as we walked on.
“Did we just stop a SUV with a broccolo?”
“Power to the broccolo!”
And so we kept doing that. We just walked further with the broccolo raised in the air, making passers-by stop stunned, cyclists drop their sunglasses, toddlers burst in laughter, and sometimes putting ourselves in the middle of the road to block the occasional sadistic driver. I am not entirely sure what all these people were actually thinking we were crusading for, holding a broccolo up in the air like a giant green fist. Agricultural justice? Road safety? Tree rights? Right to Madness?

I say, keep ’em wondering. Because that’s the job of the Crusaders of the Holy Broccolo.

Special thanks to all the toddlers who laughed out loud at our passing with a broccolo up in the air, thus empowering us to continue in our mission.

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